‘You Love Each Other More Than Other Couples’ Wedding Package

“So it sounds like we’ll just save room for the 14 photographers, then.”

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

A wedding planner sits with her clients (a man and a woman) to finish planning their wedding.

Planner: So, to recap, you decided last time to upgrade to our exclusive ‘You must love each other more than other couples’ package. Wonderful choice! Just a few things for us to clear up. Here’s what you decided were must haves:

  • An old barn in a non-barn location because you love rustic (Woman: “LOVE rustic!”) but aren’t into the smells,

Man: “Nailed it!”

Planner: “And we decided you liked the catering package with on-site free-range animals and 6 hectares of locally grown produce because…

Woman and Man (in unison): “Buffets are tacky!”

Planner: “Now, to fit your must have’s in the airplane hangar you chose, let’s go back through the invitee list and see if we can make space for everything.”

Man: “Well, there’s your aunt, who clearly has unrecognized feelings for her teaching assistant and always psychoanalyzes me. She doesn’t need to come.”

Woman: “And your cousins who live under that overpass.”

Man: “You mean the ones that live in Jacksonville?”

Woman: “Yeah, that’s what I said. They don’t need to be there.”

Man: “Okay. And how about your cycle friends. They probably have a themed brunch, anyway.”

Woman: “And your MFA friends, who are ‘working on their screenplays.’”

Man: “And your sister, who keeps promoting her life coaching business even though she’s 26 and has never had a job with health insurance.”

Woman: “And your mom, who vents about my lack of child-bearing hips on Facebook.”

Man: “And your neighbors, who always talk about their doctor son in front of me.”

Planner: “Excellent! So it sounds like we’ll just save room for the 14 photographers, then.”

Woman and Man: “Perfect!”

. . .

owner of one suit | breakfast sandwich authority | napkin writer-on-er | low-key bragger about suit ownership

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store