‘You Love Each Other More Than Other Couples’ Wedding Package

“So it sounds like we’ll just save room for the 14 photographers, then.”

Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash
  • An old-timey tractor (see rustic appreciation),
  • A cross-fit gym to remind people you do cross-fit now,
  • A local brewery,
  • A dog park,
  • A Brontosaurus skeleton (Man: “T-Rex’s are so overdone”),
  • The set from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Woman: “She’s so empowered!”)
  • A server farm to host the terabyte of wedding picture and video data your reception will generate,
  • 5G infrastructure to handle your reception’s streaming needs (and because you know what 5G is),
  • 3 acres of a national park you hiked last year and told all your city friends about because “you love nature,”
  • AOC’s re-election campaign staff,
  • An Amazon fulfillment center (but not one from Kentucky),
  • A Maine lighthouse (Man: “Are there even other ones?!”),
  • Game 7 of the 1986 World Series (when the Mets were good), and
  • A Trader Joe’s frozen food section

owner of one suit | breakfast sandwich authority | napkin writer-on-er | low-key bragger about suit ownership

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